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Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running a long long time ago
I never I’d doubt you I’m better off without you
More than you more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces of spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Today -

Prayer meeting/AAML meeting briefing thingy at Tamp > EDGE with Toy and Ning > Dinner with Toy, Ning and MZ > Home

Felt God put a burden in my heart to pray for the Chiangmai work and Pastor Kay during PM today… texted her after that and found out that they really do need prayer! Even more burdened now to pray for them after hearing about what happened, really believing God to move in the situations. And for Pastor Kay too who is leading the church for strength!!!!

Really thankful for service today… Was so impacted by the Holy Spirit at the altar when Jeremy was praying for those who were believing for revival in their campuses. God spoke directly into my heart… like arrows that hit the bulls eye, so sharp and precisely. I am empowered and encouraged and strengthened and filled with new faith!

Yesterday at net Toy mentioned something about how it is difficult to change some things. Today, the sermon was hitting the bull’s eye STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE (why am I derailing to bowling) like God just sovereignly SPOKE and moved in the most precise way today. It was so directed and the message was so clear! Also, saw my net member Xinyi walk out with the people who responded to the altar call so guessed one of her invitees got saved so I asked my other net member Sylvia to take care of Toy and Ning (and encourage them to respond to the altar call if they felt God nudging at them to) and went out to consolidate…..and found that it was Ethan! Thank God!!! :) When I went back in I was so so encouraged to find that Toy and Ning did indeed go to the altar to respond :) Also heartened by Sylvia did a good job too. GOOD JOB MY TWO DEAR MEMBERS!!!! AND MY TWO THAI DISCIPLES TOO!!!!! God is so good!!!!!!

Went to stand behind them at the altar after that and really so so thankful for Esther Wee and Joanna cos when I saw nobody was praying for Toy and Ning I asked them if they could pray for them (and pray slowly too so they can understand), they said SURE and went to pray for them straight away! I was so so thankful even though some may say BUT YA ITS WHAT THEY DO WHAT I still really really appreciate them for praying for them. Idk how to explain haha I just felt really thankful and happy for my disciples knowing a door was opened to them to be blessed and encouraged by someone else, and know that they are a part of this body even though they’re from another nation.

Despite all the things I had to do - taking care of Toy and Ning, ensuring they are taken care when I can’t do it and consolidating Ethan, I am personally so grateful and moved by the love of God that so so richly filled the place… my heart was so full, it is so full! What a strong loving presence of God… <3

Side note, I’m so thankful too for how Leave Me Astounded was written and released and used at the edge for worship at this exact time of my life and this exact season. God truly knows all things. The lyrics speak my heart - despite my hurts in this season of my life, and the different things that break me, Lord I’m running back! I’m still running back, You satisfy, You’re the only one who satisfies. Sometimes I don’t even know what else I can do for myself when I feel so abandoned, hurt, wondering what I did wrong, I don’t know what else I can do for myself except run into Your loving arms.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He leads me to green pastures and makes me lie beside still waters. He is good to me.

Sidesidenote, I tried mango sticky rice for the first time today :)

Day #1
Two of my favoritest people in the world are HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their flight got delayed + air traffic jam + immigrations, so I ended up waiting 2.5 hours for them at the arrival hall, sneezing and sniffling and nursing a headache :( JETSTAR Y U LIK DIS

Super happy to see them anyway!!!!!! Bought dinner from the Lor 8 market and then had net at home and then Creamier with a few others then went home!

Yipppeeeeee so happy they’re hereeeeeeee

Thank you (2/2) for celebrating with me and for being a part of my life!!!! Finally edited the photos so could only post now :)

Thank you (1/2) for celebrating with me and for being a part of my life!!!! Finally edited the photos so could only post now :)

uhhuh uhhuh!

uhhuh uhhuh!

Never wanting the things I can never have Never wanting the things I shouldn’t have Never wanting the things I should leave to God to decide if I should have Doors that will be closed will stay closed for good Doors that will be opened by Him no man can shut
Not waiting for you any longer Friend who chose to walk away Who chose to give me up Give our friendship up even though it hurt me
I will let Him work that door
Trusting God, I’m letting it go for good  Because I love myself, because He loves me And loving myself entails letting go of hopes against hope  Not hanging onto threads unsure if they’ll hold any weight I have so much more waiting for me in life So so much more
So today I’m really letting go

Never wanting the things I can never have
Never wanting the things I shouldn’t have
Never wanting the things I should leave to God to decide if I should have
Doors that will be closed will stay closed for good
Doors that will be opened by Him no man can shut

Not waiting for you any longer
Friend who chose to walk away
Who chose to give me up
Give our friendship up even though it hurt me

I will let Him work that door

Trusting God, I’m letting it go for good
Because I love myself, because He loves me
And loving myself entails letting go of hopes against hope
Not hanging onto threads unsure if they’ll hold any weight
I have so much more waiting for me in life
So so much more

So today I’m really letting go

Couple o’ shots last Sunday ☀️

Yesterday&#8217;s get up / styledasher, pull&amp;bear, the juice market

Yesterday’s get up / styledasher, pull&bear, the juice market

The new retainers are finally here!
My nerves are SCREAMING in protest it hurts sooooo muchhhhh after not wearing retainers for 3 weeks :&#8217;(

The new retainers are finally here!
My nerves are SCREAMING in protest it hurts sooooo muchhhhh after not wearing retainers for 3 weeks :’(

"She did not need much, wanted very little. A kind word, sincerity, fresh air, clean water, a garden, kisses, books to read, sheltering arms, a cozy bed, and to love and be loved in return."

- Starra Neely Blade (via creatingaquietmind)