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Heart is so heavy tonight…

So many of my friends have lost loved ones of late - fathers, mothers, grandmothers… I can’t explain how I feel this sadness, and it weighs down upon my heart to pray and I feel like crying cos I feel so ______ (I don’t even know what’s the word to describe) knowing my friends are going through all this now

And though it may sound too chirpy for a sombre post like this, I’m genuinely encouraged at the same time as I’m sad and heartbroken too that my friends are such beautiful and strong women of God. They haven’t lost their praise or let their loss defeat their faith… The words of gratitude, peace, hope and faith that they spoke in the face of their loss leaves me moved to tears.. What a testimony it is just by looking at their lives and their responses to such a difficult situation… I just feel the Father’s comforting and loving touch upon their lives and there’s such a spirit of faith that touched my heart too, reading the words they wrote.

Please say a prayer for these friends if you read this and if you can/ are willing to!

Yesterday I watched a drama and it was so sad! The girl died in an accident suddenly! Before the accident the guy and girl had an argument and he decided OKAY I WILL GO AND BE A BETTER PERSON. WAIT FOR ME TILL I’M GOOD ENOUGH and didn’t pick up all her calls or respond to her at all… then she got into an accident and she died and they didn’t get to say all the things they wanted to say and there was so much regret and pain!

It’s a drama I know, and dramas are always soapy like this but this soapy drama expresses a very simple truth that we tend to forget.

We live under the illusion that the people around us will definitely be there tomorrow, we make decisions by this false assurance only to regret it when it’s too late. Like a blind drawn over our eyes, we see life through it without being conscious of its presence, taking for granted the persistence of a single life… How long can you stay angry at someone knowing they’ll still be there tomorrow for you to make things right, how long can you keep hurting someone knowing they’ll still be there to forgive you? How long can you live like there will always be a tomorrow to be thankful for what you have, to be greedy for what you don’t have, to pursue the things that don’t last; and to make right with others, yourself, or with God when life is as the bible says, a mist here today and gone tomorrow?

End of the day, I’m being reminded once again that we shouldn’t live by the ungrounded guarantee that tomorrow exists for us. So much on my mind!!

Meditations of a teenage girl

  • Bad news : Ughhhh new zit appeareddddd today
  • Good news : That very same zit popped today YASSSSS
  • Bad news : But that spot is still red and annoying ermaghadddd
  • Good news : BUT NO WORRIEZ I HAVE CREAM MEHEHEHEHEHE
  • Yeah, very normal

Watched Captain America 😍 > met Wendy / passed Desiree her dresses at scape > dinz at 313 > hung out/ shopped/ did retarded things with my bros > home

Sent them off last Saturday! Miss you two already.

LOL @ frame 2

Snapshots from Emergency Couple

LOL @ frame 2

Snapshots from Emergency Couple

Just finished Skyfall (I know, I’m so backdated hahaha) and I really liked the action and their video editing + music (this song) at the opening credits is really THUMBS UP. Really puts the audience into the intended atmosphere/ “feelz” for the movie and suits the song at the same time. Really good combination of song + video editing + movie. Check out their opening credits! I thought it was really good!

I think the music really played a big role in this movie, and my only complaint is that M died ANYWAY at the end?! Yes the action etc was really good and her death serves the purpose of opening up new things in the future movies but gosh the Singaporean in me is raging at how incredibly futile everything appeared after she died LIKE THAT. It’s the if-she-was-gonna-die-like-that-should-have-just-let-him-kill-her-long-ago-then-kill-him-while-he’s-killing-her-and-save-yourself-and-everyone-a-whole-lot-of-trouble-and-injuries-and-your-burnt-down-house kind of feel hahah

Been dressing in black a lot of late / photo by Angie Chang

Been dressing in black a lot of late / photo by Angie Chang

Lovelovelove

Lovelovelove

Today -

Prayer meeting/AAML meeting briefing thingy at Tamp > EDGE with Toy and Ning > Dinner with Toy, Ning and MZ > Home

Felt God put a burden in my heart to pray for the Chiangmai work and Pastor Kay during PM today… texted her after that and found out that they really do need prayer! Even more burdened now to pray for them after hearing about what happened, really believing God to move in the situations. And for Pastor Kay too who is leading the church for strength!!!!

Really thankful for service today… Was so impacted by the Holy Spirit at the altar when Jeremy was praying for those who were believing for revival in their campuses. God spoke directly into my heart… like arrows that hit the bulls eye, so sharp and precisely. I am empowered and encouraged and strengthened and filled with new faith!

Yesterday at net Toy mentioned something about how it is difficult to change some things. Today, the sermon was hitting the bull’s eye STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE (why am I derailing to bowling) like God just sovereignly SPOKE and moved in the most precise way today. It was so directed and the message was so clear! Also, saw my net member Xinyi walk out with the people who responded to the altar call so guessed one of her invitees got saved so I asked my other net member Sylvia to take care of Toy and Ning (and encourage them to respond to the altar call if they felt God nudging at them to) and went out to consolidate…..and found that it was Ethan! Thank God!!! :) When I went back in I was so so encouraged to find that Toy and Ning did indeed go to the altar to respond :) Also heartened by Sylvia did a good job too. GOOD JOB MY TWO DEAR MEMBERS!!!! AND MY TWO THAI DISCIPLES TOO!!!!! God is so good!!!!!!

Went to stand behind them at the altar after that and really so so thankful for Esther Wee and Joanna cos when I saw nobody was praying for Toy and Ning I asked them if they could pray for them (and pray slowly too so they can understand), they said SURE and went to pray for them straight away! I was so so thankful even though some may say BUT YA ITS WHAT THEY DO WHAT I still really really appreciate them for praying for them. Idk how to explain haha I just felt really thankful and happy for my disciples knowing a door was opened to them to be blessed and encouraged by someone else, and know that they are a part of this body even though they’re from another nation.

Despite all the things I had to do - taking care of Toy and Ning, ensuring they are taken care when I can’t do it and consolidating Ethan, I am personally so grateful and moved by the love of God that so so richly filled the place… my heart was so full, it is so full! What a strong loving presence of God… <3

Side note, I’m so thankful too for how Leave Me Astounded was written and released and used at the edge for worship at this exact time of my life and this exact season. God truly knows all things. The lyrics speak my heart - despite my hurts in this season of my life, and the different things that break me, Lord I’m running back! I’m still running back, You satisfy, You’re the only one who satisfies. Sometimes I don’t even know what else I can do for myself when I feel so abandoned, hurt, wondering what I did wrong, I don’t know what else I can do for myself except run into Your loving arms.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He leads me to green pastures and makes me lie beside still waters. He is good to me.

Sidesidenote, I tried mango sticky rice for the first time today :)

Day #1
Two of my favoritest people in the world are HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their flight got delayed + air traffic jam + immigrations, so I ended up waiting 2.5 hours for them at the arrival hall, sneezing and sniffling and nursing a headache :( JETSTAR Y U LIK DIS

Super happy to see them anyway!!!!!! Bought dinner from the Lor 8 market and then had net at home and then Creamier with a few others then went home!

Yipppeeeeee so happy they’re hereeeeeeee

Thank you (2/2) for celebrating with me and for being a part of my life!!!! Finally edited the photos so could only post now :)

Thank you (1/2) for celebrating with me and for being a part of my life!!!! Finally edited the photos so could only post now :)

uhhuh uhhuh!

uhhuh uhhuh!